10.22.06 - Basketball City (NY City - 1,244 fans)
*Note; I've been extremely strapped for time. Excuse the brevity of this, but I just felt compelled to get something, anything up.*
Tonight was a huge night for Spunk Pro wrestling, making its New York City debut in a stuffy building that ROH runs in once in a while. A few fans passed out, citing lack of airflow because the building is a giant balloon, but we don't really care. Thomas Fiero and his lackey-bastards from the Wrestle Wars team were in the lobby passing out WRESTLE WARS memorabillia cups of water to help out the fans, attempting to win them over. Biff Mongo was running around trying to hype the fans up, and ended up looking like a fucking tool most of the time. It would be an understatement to say that most of these cups of water ended up on Mongo, Coogan and Kickass. Fiero grabbed a cameraman and said tonight he'd face the toughest man he could find in Spunk Pro, a champion, a true legend, and that he'd grace the Spunk Pro ring with his amazing prescence. Then some kid threw a cup at his head.
The first few matches went as advertised, proving to be tough contests and really keeping the fans energized and getting them to 'feel' the show. Can ya feel dat? Mr. T faced off with the thorn in his side; Johnny Jett, coming out alone. Bobo Gomez no longer swearing affiliation to him, and Lester nowhere to be found. Mr. T dominated Jett, with Jett only getting a few cheap shots in here and there, but Mr. T's overwhelming strength and emotion kept him firmly in charge. Mr. T finally was going for a powerbomb on the already ravaged Johnny Jett when Jett flipped over, and in a scene that reminded fans of Dante Black/Lord Vermin, Jett flipped over into a sunset flip, and after taking a tremendous beating scored the 1, 2, 3 on Mr. T! After the match, Jett had a run-in with Thomas R. Fiero (AKA -- THE RAT) backstage, with the Jet Girls on each arm, and Billy Hollywood following close behind, in a smart looking skirt/suit jacket ensemble. Yeah, I don't know.
Johnny Jett offered his hand to Fiero, and said he 'feels for him' and would love to 'do lunch' sometime. The Jet Girls were all over Fiero, who looked quite pleased at this, as Billy Hollywood, who introduced himself as "B. J. Hollywood, Esquire" offered a business card to Fiero. Jett expressed an interest in a 'joint project' between himself and Fiero, saying he thought VWA was 'cute' and would love to work on having Fiero produce his 'Untitled Johnny Jett Rock-U-Mentary' on his life and quest to being a heavyweight champion film star. Yeah, what? On the otherside of the arena, apparently Mr. T stormed out, dejected and rambling.
The Russians aren't coming, they are here! Supercomrade knocks out Hobo Joe to capture the Spunk Pro tag championship in what was a very surprising turn of events. What we got next, was a treat for fans of brawls as Paddy Baker defended his Mid-Continental Championship against his rival, Sean Gabriel. What we got was a sick, 20+ minute brawl, with Gabriel busting Baker open with a few sick headbutts mid-way through the match. After it became clear to both men the other wasn't going to go down easily, frustration began to grow. In their past encounters we've seen Gabriel already wrestling in the night, and then taking on a fresh Paddy Baker and losing in over 30 minutes in what was a classic in SECW. Then we saw Baker get knocked out of the ring with Gabriel getting a count out victory that he seemed less than pleased with. At the 23 minute point Gabriel dragged Baker to the outside, grinding his bloody head along the guard rail, then slugging him a few times in the forehead. The ref is counting as Gabriel has a Camel Clutch on Baker!! He is trying to wear Baker down and I guess forcibly get him counted out?! What is he thinking? Baker is biting Gabriel's hand! Gabriel is screaming out as he lets go, both men standing up as Baker is still biting! Gabriel with a thumb to the eye! He goes to whip Baker into the rail, Baker reverses with a drop toe hold that drops Gabriel throat-first onto the barrier! 17... 18... Baker up, and he dashes into the ring as Gabriel grasps for air.... 19... Gabriel jumps for the apron and is trying to claw himself in, as Baker is calling for him to come on... 20! Gabriel has been counted out!
A huge, heated 6-man tag is slated to be our main event -- Vio-Gun, YUSUKE, Shogo and Spunk facing off with the Wrestle Wars team of Captain Kickass, Red Coogan and Biff Mongo. The fans are all over the Wrestle Wars team, as the Spunk Pro team is fighting their hearts out. Wyatt McKidd and Thomas R. Fiero stuck their noses into the match, causing enough of a distraction to have Shogo get peppered with rights and lefts from Kickass and to set up the Kodiak Clutch for the tap out! The two teams didn't stop there, as they brawled about the arena, amidst the chaos, Fiero makes his way into the ring, and announces his opponent, a champion, a legend, a true warrior -- FPN Undisputed Champion, Dink... Dink!? What.. the.. This little fucking rat, does he think this is funny? GLASS BREAKS! Dink is out, bah gawd capri suns in hand as he is trying to break one open, and Mongo from behind with a hockey stick! He drags the 15 year old into the ring, and Fiero is just playing around with him as we call for the bell. Dink is fighting back with his childish redneck fury, but Fiero proving to be a foil to this! The 6 men are still brawling around ringside, as Fiero is shouting to Wyatt to make sure he is getting the "American Beauty shot" of Dink, whatever the hell that means! Tommy Fie-err.. Thomas fucking R. Fiero is mugging for the camera, he turns around -- STUNNER! STUNNER! BAH GAWD STUNNER! HE NAILS IT! BACK STYLE PIN! 1!!! 2!! 2.999!! Dink going up top for the w@nToN b@mBe!! Wyatt up on the apron, shaking the ropes as Fiero gets up, Dink is wobbly! YUSUKE with a kneel kick taking Wyatt down, but he hits the ropes! dink goes flying! FIERO CATCHES HIM WITH A FUCKING ACE CRUSHER IN MID AIR!! THE CUT!!! He makes a cocky cover! 1!!! 2!! 3!! FIERO JUST STOLE ONE! FIERO JUST STOLE A PIN ON A POOR, DEFENSELESS BOY! THIS IS PATHETIC! He is standing over him, foot on his chest as his camera crew focuses on him doing the "Titanic" pose on Dink's chest, as the arena around him has broke into absolute chaos!
...While we hate him, this ending is somewhat metaphoric! DAMN THIS PRETENTION TO HELL! THIS IS PRO-WRESTLING, NOT POST-MODERN FICTION!
1. Power CHUCK (15:33 - Powervice) Tom Johnson
2. Brad Wolf (20:07 - Powerslam) Bobo Gomez
3. Johnny Jett (20:24 - Sunset Flip) Mr. T
4. Spunk Pro Tag Team Championship: Comarades (Aris/Super Comrade(O)) (15:49 - KO) WTST (Alabama Dan/Hobo Joe(X)) (C)
5. Mid-Continental Championship: Paddy Baker (C) (23:27 - Count Out) Sean Gabriel
6. Wrestle Wars (Kickass/Coogan(O)/Mongo) (25:26 - Kodiak Clutch) Vio-Gun (Spunk/YUSUKE/Shogo(X))
7. Thomas R. Fiero (3:00 - cUT!!) dink
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