Spunk Pro(~!) has returned yet again. Did you see a post about new rules or anything? Me neither. Anyway. Tonight we are promised more insanity and stuff that will most likely both confuse and entertain the masses. Can you blame them? La Cosa Nostra was, well, displeased with Paradigm's subsequent defection and then teaming with arch-rival Paddy Baker to defeat the Tag Team Champions in a tag team match to earn Paradigm's freedom. Now that they've lost on in the ranks, they've decided to bring in Zannino's rather large cousin, Big Lou. To say he earned his nickname is beside the point, as he is huge. Tall, tattooed and really put a beating on poor Paradigm, who was maybe half this giant's size. Paradigm put up a valiant effort and after being flattened by a chokeslam was helped to the back by Paddy Baker who explained to him that "beatings happen, it is how you prepare for the next that matters."
As what happens after a long layoff, we had yet another debut on Spunk Pro television. You telling me that our tag division lacks depth? Pshaw, the NOLA tag team of Big Pimpin' and Slick Rodney made their debut against the gatekeeper team of Strike Force. Strike Force clashed pretty big time with the NOLA boys, who were all about brute force. The match ended with a count out when Slick Rodney got distracted beating the snot out of Wolf on the outside of the ring and Lee Stone, the legal man, was able to slip back inside.
With the main event looking to be Ken Shields vs. Lester Bourbon, well, you knew something was gonna happen. Spunk came out with a contract which was delivered to him via courier for his Heayweight Title shot. He called out Sommers, citing that Spunk Pro has never had somebody forced to sign a contract for a Heavyweight title match before, as he should know, being a multi-time champion himself. He claimed that Sommers was a coward and wouldn't face him tonight even if he did sign some contract. This of course brings out the champion, with manager Seamus McFadden and some of McFadden's boys, Big T and Havok in tow. McFadden proclaimed that Sommers feared no man, but that Spunk fears order and legally binding contracts that he can't weasel out of. As you can imagine, this made no sense to anybody, but we continue, as McFadden says that Sommers will of course accept his challenge for tonight... In a 6-man tag team match, if he can find the partners.
They climb into the ring now, staring him down, McFadden laughing, claiming that nobody will want to help Spunk, especially after beating the snot out of YUSUKE, who was his friend, on our previous show. Apparently YUSUKE isn't too smart, or has a different set of values and honor that McFadden doesn't understand, as he comes down to ringside and stands next to Spunk, saying that he still has much to learn from Spunk (but not that much). This still leaves it 3 on 2, which against these men, isn't exactly the best odds. What happened next, nobody expected, well, the part where all 3 men attacked the 2 was, right? Because that was exactly what happened. Spunk Pro is the home of wild brawls, afterall. But who came out to save them was the surprise, as it was Bobo Gomez who came in and he came in throwing fucking bombs, and it looks like we'll have yet another classic Spunk Pro 6-man Elimination match tonight!
The MPLL standout tag team of Bromista and Camillo del Noche took on VIO-Gun members AKAHIRA and Shogo Otsuka. Shogo, still sore over not getting his title shot against DEMOS and, well, getting the shit beaten out of him, did not look in top form. Bromista used a moonsault press to put the rookie away in a fast-paced match. Speaking of OdZ, leader ZODIAK faced off against Jesus X's younger brother, Damien in what was a very emotional match, with Damien getting busted open in the early goings. With Jesus X on the shelf, the odds went out of favor very quickly for Damien. Every attempt at a comeback was thwarted by the numbers game. Damien attempted to continue fighting, but the seal of the deal was the fireball that ZODIAK threw at him, with Damien staggering around holding his face it was a simple matter of ZODIAK grabbing him by the tights and rolling him up to finish the match. The rest of the Oni del Zokugai came into the ring, where it became an exhibition of how to hurt a lone man in a hurry. RUINER picked him up and dropped him onto his neck with the R-75, DEMOS picked him up and gave him the Pedigree, only for the big man to come in, with the rest picking him up and holding him up, only to be hoisted onto 001's shoulders, spun around and then dropped right onto his head. To say he was stretchered out was an understatement. Without his brother, OdZ were simply too much for Damien.
The young Ken Shields has made a statement in Spunk Pro in his short stint, which has angered the imposing vet, Lester Bourbon. The two have met under a few different circumstances, but it came down to this, a Texas Deathmatch, the Last Man Standing match. Shields, the Texan is looking for the big win and looking to put the monster to rest at long last. There was nothing pretty about this match, as both men simply beat the snot out of each other. Shields went down many times, but kept getting back up. This was frustrating Lester, which might not have been the best idea, as he ran into a well-placed Axe Bomber (a move he knows very well). Shields is in the corner, just hoping and praying the monster stays down, as he starts to get up, Shields quickly downs him again with a rolling punch, which could be it! He sees Lester starting to stir again and climbs up to the top rope and he drops the Golden Elbow! It was too much for Lester, the final onslaught put him down for good, with Shields emerging the new hero.
This brings us to our main event. The elimination 6-man tag is a match that is well-known to Spunk Pro fans, as many a grudge has been built and flourished inside of these matches. These matches have made careers, determined who true contenders are, proven who the toughest men are in the sport and so on. This one was no different, as McFadden's team, possibly the three most brutal men in the sport, squaring off with Spunk and YUSUKE with the unlikely partner of Bobo Gomez. Spunk came in the ring once again holding the unsigned contract, throwing it back in Sommers's face (clipboard and all), before Sommers just kicks it out of the way, smug in the fact that he has gotten into the worthy-challenger's mind. The first 20 minutes was back and forth action, the first shock of the evening came when Spunk was squaring off against Havok. Nobody expected Havok to use such a brutal powerbomb on Spunk, or his head to snap off the canvas like that. When Havok picked Spunk up and locked in the over-the-knee Cobra Clutch, Spunk was completely out of it. The first elimination was the number one contender!
YUSUKE was not going to simply sit back and watch this unfold, no, he came in and really took it to Havok, finishing off the job just mere moment after Spunk's elimination with his patented Dragon Suplex, putting Havok down for the three-count, as you can imagine, Spunk was livid at the man he beat to become the top contender easily putting away a guy that brutalized him. Spunk argued with YUSUKE about that very thing, which distracted him from the match at hand, as he simply claimed he was getting revenge for him. Well, he turned around into the B.A.D. from Big T, which spelled lights out, Spunk oddly enough with a smirk on his face.
The surprise of the night was Bobo Gomez fending off the champion and the biggest, toughest man in Spunk Pro history for a solid fifteen minutes, getting a few close falls and looking like a man possessed before the numbers game came into play. Just when it looked like he had the upperhand, going for a brainbuster on Big T, Sommers came in and levels him with a knee to the gut. T quickly brings him up for one of his own, which we all know can only go DOWN into the B.A.D. McFadden, like a mad conductor is shouting instructions from the floor, yelling out "BAD NIGHTMARE!" over and over again, as T holds Bobo up, letting the blood rush from out of his body into his head, as Sommers nods and moves off the ropes, bringing his knee up just as T brings Bobo crashing down, the force of the chokeslam right into the Champ's deadly knee. It was over from there. There was no other option. Spunk was not going to take this lightly, though, oh no, as all hell broke loose. YUSUKE and Spunk launched an assault against all three men, as Bobo was actually fighting off a medical crew. He took the most deadly finisher imaginable and he was refusing medical attention!
YUSUKE had Sommers lined up for the Shining Triangle lock he is known for, when Spunk pushes him out of the way, and subsequently out of the ring, only to go for a running knee kick of his own on the champ. YUSUKE tumbles out of the ring, only to look over and see the clipboard with the blank contract or a Heavyweight title match, a pen clipped to the top. As he watches Spunk arms outstretched over the fallen champion, a look of disgust comes over his face as he pulls the pen out and scratches his name onto the contract, sliding it into the ring and storming back to the locker room. Spunk looks down, and a look of horror comes over his face as he sees the name YUSUKE on the dotted line. He looks back at the entranceway to see YUSUKE, then looks down at the contract as YUSUKE gives him the 'up yours' motion and heads to the back through the curtain.
It looks like Spunk has lost his number one contendership!
2. Strike Force (Brad Wolf/Lee Stone(O)) (18:11 - Count Out) Big Pimpin'/Slick Rodney(X)
3. Bromista(O)/Camillo del Noche (13:22 - La Bromista [moonsault]) AKAHIRA(X)/Shogo Otsuka
4. ZODIAK (8:56 - Schoolboy) Damien
5. Last Man Standing: Ken Shields (14:23 - Golden Elbow) Lester Bourbon
6. Elimination Tag: Spunk/YUSUKE/Bobo Gomez vs. Dan Sommers/Big T/Havok
Havok (26:07 - Havoklok) Spunk
YUSUKE (28:14 - Dragon Suplex) Havok
Big T (30: 25 - B.A.D.) YUSUKE
Big T (45:11 - B.A.D. Nightmare) Bobo Gomez
