What?
Spunk Pro has returned, this time possibly for good. Possibly. Regardless, Spunk Pro has picked up right where it left off, only with a revised roster featuring new talent and old talent.
In the opener, two of Spunk's newest trainees, Ichi and Prince, squared off against Tommy Fiero's new bandmates in Ripper Dane and Wolf Reaper. Fiero, fueled by botox and the quest to never let the 80's die has started a new band, much in the vein of late era Motley Crue, and he's using his guitar player (Dane) and drummer (Reaper) as his henchmen. Sadly, the fell to the duo of Ichi and Prince, with Prince using his Deadlbomb (Wildbomb) to finish off the guitarist in 20 minutes.
In a mix of old with new, perhaps Spunk Pro's oldest active competitor, Paddy Baker, still refuses to quit and went up against a raucous, hard knocks New Jersey native in Trent Bradford in a match that saw a more refined, mat-based style clash with a more brutal, hardcore style. While Baker did hit a double arm suplex and his patented reverse piledriver, Bradford rallied back, leading to a tense exchange at the end, which Bradford sealed with a rolling lariat for the win.
In another set of debuts, former Turkish Special Forces Hakim Tuul took on Sean Gabriel-trainee Drew Adams in a smash-mouth sprint of a match that featured the two men elbowing each other to death. The boy from Brighton looked to lock in his Brighton Stretch (Fishook Sleeper) only for Tuul to make it to the ropes, then follow up with a pair of rolling elbows, then a running elbow smash to put the younger man away.
A literal garbageman, known as Deplorable Bull, made his way out next and cut a MAGA-chud interview decrying "illegals" which brought out Mexican living legend Fuerte Guerrero, who was looking to prove that Bull and his awful world views have no place in this world. Well, he forgot that it is 2017, which meant that Bull pulled out every cheap trick in the book, smashing the Mexican legend repeatedly with a baseball bat before finally locking in a Stretch Plum, crying about "triggering libs" by pantomiming anal sex, dry humping him only for the legend to pass out in the hold.
The co-main event saw the debut of Caribbean rising star Rocky Baez against well-established Spunk Pro luchador rudo, Zodiak. Zodiak tried everything in his bag of tricks, including his green mist, but Baez was game, finally getting the leader of OdZ up and slamming him down with the Caribbean Razor, knocking the Spunk Pro legend out. That's how you make a debut.
Old feuds die hard, but sometimes old enemies can find common ground. On this, the relaunch of Spunk Pro, Spunk teamed up with old rival Sean Gabriel to take on the ever-deadly team of Dan Sommers and Big T. Sommers, the last Spunk Pro Champion, was in as good of shape as ever, while Big T looked a little heavier than usual, but was still as brutal as ever. Spunk spent most of the match in the ring while the heels worked him over before Big T went for a surprise chokeslam in the center of the ring and knocked Spunk out cold. Gabriel, disgusted, stormed out of the ringside area while the heels celebrated their victory over the promotion's owner.
Prince(O)/Ichi (20:11 - Deadlybomb) Wolf Reaper/Ripper Dane(X)
Trent Bradford (14:39 - Rolling Lariat) Paddy Baker
Hakim Tuul (12:48 - Running Elbow Smash) Drew Adams
Deplorable Bull (16:57 - Stretch Plum) Fuerte Guerrero
Rocky Baez (13:44 - Caribbean Razor - CRITICAL) Zodiak
Dan Sommers/Big T(O) (10:53 - Chokeslam - CRITICAL) Spunk(X)/Sean Gabriel
