5.29.07 - Aces High
Ladies and gentlemen, we deeply and sincerely apologize for the whole month you, the fans, had to deal without SPUNK PRO WRESTLING ACTION -- for that, we feel quite horrible, well, not really. ONTO THE SHOW! Manakuro Marakuso, the commissioner of the WWA (LOLZ is that still around?) came out and said that Tommy Fiero MUST defend his newly won championship tonight, as it has been well over a month since he won the title and has not defended it. While he understands that there hasn't been a show in a month, he quoted financial difficulties stemming from Fiero himself, so that Fiero won't mind defending the title tonight... Against Jesus X! The crowd erupts at this announcement, and our show begins with said earth-shakin' newz. Our first match of the evening sees STRIKE FORCE, former Tag Champs as of a few shows ago getting back into winning ways against two men leaning on the older side from Mexico called 'Loco Hombres.' While most saw them and laughed, the fight they put up was intense. The match ended when Guterez blatantly nailed Stone in the stones (get it? GET IT?) in front of the ref, who quickly disqualified Pedro and Romero while Stone lay on the mat groping at his manhood screaming. The fans booed, a lot.
Backstage now our possibly-camouflaged cameraman catches up to see Tommy Fiero and Jack Dod talking backstage. Fiero has the belt strapped over his shoulder, a 'Musicians Friend' catalog strewn out over the table as he points at it, "Look dude, I want an axe to attach to my rockin' belt so I can jam some tunes when I come out!"
"Uh, right, 'dude' you do know you have a title defense tonight," Dod glares up at Fiero who looks back at him kinda glazed over then back at the catalog. "Right?"
"Yeah, yeah, but then I was thinking about the Cherry Sunburst with the tortoise pick-guard and the..." He pauses, "wait... WHAT? I defend my title? Against who?" He looks up at Dod who shakes his head.
"Jesus X," he laughs, patting him on the shoulder. "You did hear that old dude say that like, uh, half an hour ago, right?"
"Uh," Fiero looks around, then slams his fist down. "Damnit! No! Dude, I need your help! I'm not ready for this -- I mean, don't get me wrong I can beat him with both hands tied behind my back, Gran Pumudo on my back and Manapoopo Marryaguyo gnawing on my leg, brah. But," he stares at Dod long and hard. "But, I want you to garuntee me you'll make sure nothing fishy goes on."
"Yeah, why not?" Dod shrugs, but I want something out of it."
"Yeah! Whoo! Yeaaa--uh, like what?"
"A title shot, anytime, anywhere," he pats the title on Tommy's shoulder, Tommy swaying back a little bit.
"Uhh, yeah!" He pats the title, then gives Dod a knuckle to the shoulder. "You know I'm good for it bro, that cameraman right there trying to hide as my witness, you have my word, bro. Anytime, anywhere... As long as you make sure I'm still the champ."
Dod smiles and pats him on the shoulder again and walks off smirking to himself as Tommy sighs and picks up the catalog again. Big T is on next in what has become his somewhat symbolic destruction of another member of the roster with the B.A.D., this time Wataru Araya. It wasn't even close. Paddy Baker challenged ZODIAK in the third bout of the evening, in what was one of ZODIAK's stiffest challenges to date, Baker seriously tossing everything in his power at ZODIAK and things looking bleak for him. Just when Baker looked comfortable, RUINER distracted the ref and DEMOS low-blowed Baker from behind, which led right into a Tombstone Piledriver from ZODIAK, knocking Baker loopy for the 3-count. This bled right into the next match, where Gabriel ran out to check on Baker and RUINER attacks him, the tag champs looking on, pleased as RUINER grabs a mic and tells Gabriel he wants his title, as he wants everybody in OdZ to hold some gold and truly dominate Spunk Pro. Gabriel gladly obliges and then gives him a 16 minute and 27 second lesson in getting his ass kicked. While trying to run a ref distraction, Baker elbows DEMOS in the back of the knee, sending him spilling to the ground and distracting RUINER enough to get caught in a Package Backdrop Suplex Hold for a 3-count.
As the semi-main is about to get underway, Jack Dod and Dan Sommers making their way to the ring, Spunk is backstage with D, where he apologizes for everything that has happened and tells him he doesn't want him to be in the match, he doesn't want him to get hurt. D protests as Spunk explains that everybody around him, starting with D a few months back, gets hurt. He has a heavy heart and a guilty conscious and feels he needs to fight his own battles. D tells him to hold on and explains to him that he is the master of his own fate, and is willing to put himself on the line to get his hands on Sommers, who injured Bobo Gomez, his recent partner, and wants to finally show that he deserves a shot at the title. The first fall was D on fire, as he forced the devious Jack Dod to submit to the Sasorigatame in 25 minutes! Dod, knowing there were 2 falls left didn't want to sustain anymore damage, and quickly tagged Sommers in. From here it was chaos. Sommers falls Spunk in 7 minutes with a sick looking lariat, nearly decapitating him. Spunk tries to fight back in the next fall, but D tags himself in, Spunk begging him to stay out, but D doesn't want to listen. D is tired and Sommers is pissed, and after a lariat and D kicking out (FIGHTING SPIRIT!!!) drops him with the Alabama Death Drop (Inverted DDT) for the 3-count. Sommers has D up after the bell has rung for the Alabama Nightmare but eats a flying knee from Spunk for the save!
Now ladies and gentlemen, our main event, for the Spunk Pro Heavyweight Championship! Jesus X is out and looks ready to take back his title that he held for over a year, the longest and most successful champion of all time. Tommy Fiero is just looking to hold onto his newly won title and prove that he deserves it, that all of the bragging and showboating, film making and everything else is part of a warrior, not just an actor. Jesus X fights hard, and looks to have the upperhand throughout most of the bout, but that all changes once Jack Dod makes his appearance. Dod knows the score, wants that title and wants that title on Fiero. Fiero, thinking fast and seeing that he is in danger as Jesus X looking for the Final Cut rakes him in the eyes, the ref admonishing him as Fiero pulls him into the corner and argues with him. This leaves just enough time for Dod to slide in, Jesus X to turn around to meet a POW! Kick to the gut, DODSMACK!!! He just got leveled! Dod slides out of the ring, only for Fiero to put one foot on Jesus X's chest for the pin.. 1....2....2.99!! FIERO CANNOT BELIEVE IT! THE FANS ARE GOING WILD! DOD IS POUNDING ON THE MAT, FURIOUS! Jesus X stumbles to his feet and Fiero with the Whammy Bar!! He makes the pinfall -- 1...2...3, and this one is over, Fiero has stolen it again! Fiero jumping up and down like he just won an Academy Award or something, like that would ever happen to him anyway, and Dod in the ring celebrating with him. Dod whispers something to the ref, who stands back in the corner, Dod pushing him away. Dod raises Fiero's hand up high as Fiero holds the title in the other hand. Dod offers to take the title and put it around his waist, Fiero nods and turns around, holding his arms up, as Dod nods to the ref who calls for the bell!!
NO WAY! Fiero turns around in shock only to get clocked with the title!! The fans are going wild as Dod looks long and hard at the title, Fiero down. Dod drops the title and picks up Fiero's limp body by the arm, draping him over his shoulder. Dod lets out a mighty laugh as he swings Fiero around and nails the beautiful Dodsmack on him, Fiero's neck snapping back. Dod lays over Fiero for the cover.. 1.........2.... this isn't happening... 3!! WE HAVE A NEW SPUNK PRO HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, AND IT IS.. JACK FUCKING DOD! The fans are going nuts, as Dod celebrates with the title high overhead. Jack Dod's plan has finally come to light, this is what he planned, this is what he wanted -- this is what he got.
1. Strike Force (Brad Wolf/Lee Stone(O)) (19:40 - DQ) Loco Hombres (Pedro Guterez(X)/Hector Romero)
2. Big T (3:02 - B.A.D.) Wataru Araya
3. ZODIAK (16:57 - Tombstone Piledriver) Paddy Baker
4. WILD International Heavyweight Championship: Sean Gabriel(C) (16:27 - Package Backdrop) RUINER
5. 2/3 Falls: Spunk/D vs Jack Dod/Dan Sommers
--D (25:27 - Sasorigatame) Jack Dod
--Dan Sommers (6:54 - Lariat) Spunk
--Dan Sommers (9:00 - Alabama Death Drop) D
6a. Spunk Pro Heavyweight Championship: Tommy Fiero(C) (15:36 - Pinfall) Jesus X
6b. Spunk Pro Heavyweight Championship: Jack Dod (:06 - Dodsmack) Tommy Fiero(C)
