Spunk Pro 1.7.08 -- Fall From Grace

1.7.08

The Seventh of January saw another night of hot Spunk Pro action, the first in the new year! We kick things off with Paddy Baker taking on Spunk Pro stalwart and utter failure Rusty Chodes. Chodes just got beaten up a lot (a LOT) and fell to the Reverse Piledriver from Baker for the fundamental 3-count. Baker is tough, but you knew that already. The next match was one that we've been brewing up for a while now, Paradigm, still trying to break free from the clutches of Spunk Pro Tag Team Champions, La Cosa Nostra faced off with the MAN, the MASTER AND RULER OF THE DANNYVERSE, who ruined his title shot at Johnny Jett last time we saw Spunk Pro action. Needless to say, Paradigm was outweighed, outpowered but not outsmarted. Oh no, he was taking every chance that he got to use his quickness and his brains to his advantage. The finish was exciting, as Dan was going for a big chokeslam, and in midair Paradigm catches his head and locks in the Guillotine Choke! They crash to the mat as Paradigm chokes the life out of Danny Bell, and he fells the giant!

We saw two hot Spunk Pro feuds come to a frothing head, as DEMOS teamed up with Lester Bourbon to take on their rivals, Shogo Otsuka and Ken Shields. It was a face-paced match, with DEMOS looking on point against Shogo, and Shields doing his using quick in-and-out attacks on Lester, but Lester got the better of him this time, as he crashes from behind with a lariat, leading into the SIDS Clutch for the pinfall. Was there a brawl afterwards? Well, is this Spunk Pro? Yes, yes it is. Yes, yes there was a brawl.

We had a big return tonight, as Havok returned from a trip to the southwest, where we can only imagine him training in the desert, eating spicy foods and probably having sex with Latina hookers. Needless to say, he looked more focused than we've seen him, as his return bout was a challenge, as the previously undefeated streak he held was scrubbed by YUSUKE, the sensation with a huge shouda to the back of the head. YUSUKE of late has felt like he has been criticized as a man who looks to finish with his submission holds or his Dragon Suplex, and that he isn't 'dynamic enough' to some fans, so this was a big proving point to him, to defeat a previously undefeated Havok, and doing so with a deadly, yet different technique than usual.

As you'll remember, Jesus X lost that huge Cage Hair vs Mask match at our year-end extravaganza, which led not only to the embarrassment of ZODIAK shaving his head, but the uncertainty of ZODIAK being granted permission to have his choice of match any time that he wanted, any rules he wanted. ZODIAK is out now, alongside DEMOS and RUINER, and our fears are coming true, as he is challenging Jesus X to come to the ring. Marakuso comes out to make sure this situation doesn't get out of control, to act as a mediator, but with all 4 of these men in here, who knows! ZODIAK lays it on the line;

ZODIAK: You wanted me to have nothing, you wanted to take me and destroy me. Well, I've shed myself of my possessions, Jesus. My payback, is not only to show you my strength without them, but to take everything from you. Everything.

Jesus X swallows hard as he adjusts the title on his shoulder, pointing to it, then at ZODIAK, laying the title out in between them and telling ZODIAK to bring it on. ZODIAK simply laughs.

ZODIAK: I know what you want, and I know what I want. They are different paths, and sadly, for you at least, they do not cross tonight. Instead, its something far worse, something you aren't prepared for, something you know little about... Your title will be gone by the end of tonight, I can assure you.

Jesus X tries to jump at ZODIAK, but Marakuso holds him back.

ZODIAK: Your challenger, the man who has... Convinced me, with the help of one Seamus McFadden and a few thousand dollars, convinced me he should be the one to destroy you... That man.. Is DAN. SOMMERS.

Sommers' music hits as he comes out, followed by a maniac McFadden, laughing and clutching at his wrist. Sommers has the WILD International Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder and points at the Spunk Pro Heavyweight Championship, and that is all that is needed, as OdZ leave Jesus X speechless in the ring, as he stares down his contender for the night.

The Tag Team Champions were gracious enough to accept one final challenge from the former champions, Strike Force. Really, this should have been a triumphant match for Strike Force, as since losing to La Cosa Nostra they've honed their craft and become more vicious than befoe, more vicious and looking for the win. La Cosa Nostra, though, are crafty. Not everything they do is within the rulebook, but at some point, the rulebook goes out the window and underhanded techniques take over. Bianco used not only the almighty dollar to distract the referee, but many other techniques as well. It didn't matter, as Lee Stone wanted those titles back, and showed why he is one of the toughest men in Spunk Pro, as he laid both members out with the Stone Crusher. He had Riggs up for a second one, and Bianco deployed Joey Knuckle's daughter, Jani, to distract the ref, while Stone had Briggs up, Bianco slipped Zannino a pair of brass knux, and he cracked Stone across the back of the head, with Briggs rolling him up, the ref magically being in position and Zannino magically in position to crack Wolf across the skull and tuck the knux into his trunks for the 3-count to become a work of poetry in motion.

Now we come down to the main event, a match that Jesus X was not prepared for, and hell, how can you prepare for this? Dan Sommers since the summer (no pun intended) has been unstoppable. His finisher, the Alabama Nightmare has not only knocked out many men, it has ended careers, putting his former partner and best friend Hobo Joe on the shelf, possibly for the rest of his life, it has knocked out everybody from Shogo Otsuka, YUSUKE, Spunk, Jack Dod, Jason Blackhart, Angelo Sabatini, Shady, really, the list goes on and on. But Sommers is in no way a one-hit-wonder, he crushes opponents with his backdrop, he fractures skulls with his big lariat, mashes brains with his reverse DDT, then scrambles them with his jumping powerbomb. His fists are like getting hit with bricks, while his knees are like getting hit with a steel pipe, and nobody, and I mean nobody, has been able to stop Dan Sommers. The last time he challenged for the title, it was circumstance that prevented him from winning it, as he laid Spunk out cold with the Alabama Nightmare in a 3-way, only for Fiero to catch him with the Whammy Bar and lock the Lock of Rock onto Spunk to secure the title for him. This isn't discounting Jesus X, as he had the longest reign as Heavyweight Champion in Spunk Pro history, with his immaculate 'Seven Deadly Sins' series that blew fans' minds and had people in the back afraid to face him. But this feud with ZODIAK has done things to him, has changed him. Not only physically, as he now sports a crew cut after that embarrassing loss last month, but mentally. Since this feud began, it looks like Jesus X has aged at least 5 years. He looks worn, tired, like he watches where he goes, never knowing when ZODIAK will be there. ZODIAK was the man he hired to help him secure the Spunk Pro Championship again, but a change of heart made him cancel the deal, only for ZODIAK to swear revenge and essentially win the title for him. Since then, Jesus X has been trying to prove, not only to himself, but to the fans that he deserves to be champion.

This leads us up to tonight, where two of the most decorated and feared competitors in Spunk Pro history face off. One man walking the path of salvation and forgiveness, while the other walks a much darker, destructive path, as he seeks only destruction and pain. This was an emotional match for both men, as Sommers feels this is something he has deserved, having to 'dumb himself down' to be a comedy act with Hobo Joe, having to dig himself up from poverty to become a professional wrestler, and breaking the stigma of being a perennial tag team champion. Sommers was looking to simply fry Jesus X's brain, as the onslaught of punches to the skull and the DDTs were really wearing him thin, but the champ is resilient and refuses to go down. Jesus X is looking to connect with the Saviour Kick, the kick that since his return has been his main weapon, with the Sign of the X being retired, or saved for only the most dire of situations. Perhaps this was a situation for it, but he simply never had the chance for it, as Sommers was just overwhelming. The finish had the fans jumping up and down and screaming, as Jesus X had just planted Sommers with the Final Cut, and was waiting for him to get up to plant the Saviour Kick and secure his title. But that isn't what Sommers was planning, as he ducked under the kick, securing the champion onto his shoulders and much to the screams of protest by the audience nailed him with the Alabama Nightmare. Everything was moving in slow motion as the knee cracked across the face of Jesus X, as bloody splattered, a loud crack was heard throughout the arena and the sound of Seamus McFadden cackling broke through the static like fingernails on a chalkboard. The sound of the ref's hand dropping three times felt like watching an execution, no matter how quickly you want it to go and simply be over with, to end the pain, it dragged. Sommers has his hand raised, and the title firmly in his grasp as he spits down at Jesus X.

To say the fans were in shock is an understatement, as a new era of brutality quickly descended upon Spunk Pro as Dan Sommers, the redneck from Alabama, the man with more DUI's and DWI's than the entire roster put together, the man who once knocked out a black man's teeth in a bar one by one just because he was bored, the man who ruined the life of Goat Banga (remember him?) and crippled his best friend is now the Spunk Pro Heavyweight Champion. If there was a god, he would save this promotion and save Jesus X, but for now, its up in the air, as Dan Sommers makes his way to the back, screaming at fans that he is the champion, he is the man, and he is their ruler, OdZ's music hits and the lights dim. What happened next had to be seen to be believed, as OdZ, the lights flashing on and off were brutally attacking the fallen former champ. This is what ZODIAK wanted. ZODIAK wanted him to be weak, powerless, stripped of everything; his pride, his championship, his good looks and his spirit. What happened next is a blur, as the lights finally settled back, and a man walked out from behind the curtain, a huge man, one that we haven't seen in a very long time.. This man was not even a man, but a monster, it is 001! 001, the former Spunk Pro Heavyweight Champion, and he is stalking to the ring! 001 was Jesus X's bodyguard (acquired through questionable means, granted) turned foe, but it looks like 001 has forgotten, and that he is coming to save Jesus X!

... Only, there is no fear in the eyes of OdZ, but anticipation, as 001 enters the ring and stares them down, in between them and Jesus X, Jesus X helping himself up on 001, the mass of muscle that he is, only for 001 to look down at him, and then smash him across the skull with his fist! OdZ are laughing, fans are crying and Jesus X is getting mauled by this monster! The first chokeslam sounded like a shotgun being fired. The second was more muffled under the sound of the crowd, but what was heard loud and clear was 001 hoisting Jesus X up over his shoulders, holding him up by his arms in a crucifix position, and essentially just tossing him off of the tower that is his shoulders into one of the most brutal powerbombs we've ever seen in Spunk Pro, maybe even wrestling (and we employ Big T!).

Its silence now, as 001 stands over Jesus X, with ZODIAK's laughter being the only thing to pierce through the silence, as he stands over the fallen former champ, just laughing. Just laughing.

1. Paddy Baker (3:33 - Reverse Piledriver) Rusty Chodes
2. Paradigm (21:08 - Guillotine) DanDead
3. DEMOS(O)/Lester Bourbon (15:16 - SIDS Clutch) Shogo Otsuka/Ken Shields(X)
4. YUSUKE (13:36 - Shouda) Havok
5. Spunk Pro Tag Team Championship: La Cosa Nostra (Ted Zannino/Rick Briggs(O))(C) (26:31 - Smack Package) Strike Force (Brad Wolf/Lee Stone(X))
6. Spunk Pro Heavyweight Championship: Dan Sommers (14:56 - Alabama Nightmare) Jesus X(C)